Innocent?

No, no, I’m innocent, I tell you…

A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a sparrow. He pulled over, picked the poor sparrow who was still alive but unconscious. He decided to take him home.When the motorist got home, he put the sparrow in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside.

When the sparrow came to, he looked around and said: "Bars, bread, water... Oh my God, I must have killed that motorist!"


Vacation complications…

Finally having scraped enough money together for a trip to the Bahamas, Todd arrived only to learn that the hotel at which he wanted to stay, the St. Regis, charged $200 a day.Although that included a continental breakfast, the pool and free golf, he simply couldn't afford that much money.

Dragging his gear around town, he finally found a hotel every bit as nice but it only cost $50 a day. Settling in, he decided to get in a few rounds of golf before sunset.

Bringing his clubs to the hotel course, he went to buy a three-pack of balls from the Pro Shop.

"That will be $100," said the man behind the counter.

"What?" screamed Todd. "That's outrageous! They're free at the St. Regis!"

"Yes," said the man, "but at the St. Regis they get you by the rooms. We on the other hand…”


Never argue with a drunk…

A drunk gets on a bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus.

The bus stops at the next stop. He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus.Still the man is fumbling in his pockets for change. The bus jerks forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the back of the bus. Next stop, the same thing happens. Every time the bus stops, the man would stagger to the front. Every time the bus starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back.

A few stops later the drunk exits the bus from the front."Hey", shouts the bus driver... "You didn't pay your fare yet!"

The drunk, reeling, shouts back "Why shouldI?!... .. I had top walk all the way!"


The evangelist act…

A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in therafters would dutifully release the dove.

At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!"Still no sign of the dove.

The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"


Tired of Little Johnny? Here’s Little Benny…

Little Benny was looking depressed, so his fourth grade teacher, Miss Feldman, asked, What's the problem, Benny? I hope it's not homework again..."

"Well, uh, yes it is, mam" replied Little Benny. "I made my homework paper into a paper airplane."

"Benny, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," Miss Feldman said, "but this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in."

"Oh, but it's worse than that..." replied Little Benny, looking even sadder. “You see, the plane was hijacked!"


Don’t let anyone hijack your happiness. Keep Smiling and enjoy.