The value of a well rounded education...

A friend of mine has a daughter who started out as a psych major then switched to English Lit.

After that, she tried pre-law, which was followed by international affairs, history, and at present, she's in philosophy.

She may never graduate, but she's unbeatable at Trivial Pursuit.



In spelling class…

Teacher asks the kids in spelling class to tell what their father does for a living, and spell it.

The first kid says, "My daddy's a baker. That's b-a-k-e-r. He makes bread and lots of sweet goodies to eat."

The second kid says, "My daddy's a banker. That's b-a-n-k-e-r. He makes lots of money, buys us lots of toys."

The next kid says, "My daddy's an electrician. That's e-l-a-k...uh, e-l-e-x...uh. ..."

The teacher interrupts, saying, "That's okay, Rayford. Think about it and we'll come back to you." Turning to Little Johnny, she says, "You're next, Johnny."

Little Johnny says, "My daddy's a bookie. That's b-o-o-k-i-e, and I'll lay you odds ten to one Rayford won’t never spell electrician."



Not the answer she was looking for…

A little boy returned home from school and told his father that he had failed the maths test.

His father asked him, "Why did you fail?"

The boy replied, "The teacher asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' and I said '3 x 2 is 6'."

"Well, that's right" said his father.

The little boy continued, "Then she asked me 'How much is 2 x 3?"

"What the hell is the difference?" asked the father.

The son replied, "That's exactly what I said to my teacher and that's why I failed the maths test."



Sometimes, it’s not what you say, but…

Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables, and crafts.

As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign.

"Why the new sign?" I asked.

"My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said.

When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood.

It declared, "Local Honey Dates Nuts."



A little wishful thinking…

A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases.

When a clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" he answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish."

Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin."



Getting rid of the deadwood…

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!

The CEO walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He's the pizza delivery guy."



Federal tax terminology…

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty-five cents?



Yes, Tax Season is upon us. Ah well, we will get through this too.

This World is far from perfect, but each of us can put forth an effort to make it a little better. Start with the ones who are nearest and dearest to you, then look out to see those who are most in need and do what you can. We will all be better for it.

Until next time, keep smiling and enjoy life.